The Kingdom

I waited.
The kingdom came
found me
standing alone
still
unchanging in my devotion to you

Its golden glow gave me
a shadow-companion
a simulacrum
of my self
and I felt hope
I connected
I tasted an intimacy
you
and I had never shared

When the day’s last light left
I called out
for this new lover
but all was still
and I stood
alone as always
waiting
for the song to end

I think he thought
he wasn’t real
he didn’t know my words
had power to create
a bond
my body promised
that
would see him stay
with me through the night

And I would lend
my physicality
all that
is mine to give
to please
to touch and to make
real
in exchange
for his softer edges
playful sing-along-song
and dances

But when the light fails he forgets
his existence
he can’t find
himself
at my feet

And I’m weary
of standing
I would lie
down for a spell
in his place
let him stand
be the man
he is but fails to see

His blue eyes pure
but blinded by
glasses of
Guinness and indignities

Were it not
for his hands holding me
my body
tight
against him I’d lose
sleep for fear of drowning
in those depths

I waited.
But the night lingers
my skin loses its elasticity
lines have been drawn
and we missed our moment
to sing the lullabies

I sleep well without them
but never at night

I’m leaving this place
hallowed ground
hollow
and you
what
of you
I’ve seen no hint
no other
no One
I sang the song softly
again
and again

Now my voice is lost
I’m forgetting the words
the promise made
not broken
but forgotten
not forgotten
but set aside for some other day
when the kingdom comes again
and finds me waiting
still
for his hand
for yours
or for the hand of
someone yet to come

I would that it were his.

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